Had a bit of a scare last night with a very little bit of spotting, but it was bright red and therefore terrifying. Had to call the Gyn resident at 9:30 at night only to be told to "get some sleep" and call my clinic in the morning. Yeah, right. Not much in the way of sleep happening around here.
Spotting seems to have stopped this morning, but I am still left with the feeling this pregnancy is pretty precarious. Waiting for the clinic to return my call. Not as miserable as I was last night, but still anxious.
On a happier note, the folks surprised us with a pop-in yesterday. They only live four hours away, but now that they're retired the pop-in is more doable. Would love to regale you with tales of my crazy family, but they're only crazy in ordinary ways, so it would be a fairly short and uninteresting tale, alas. Had a nice dinner before I freaked out over a little blood.
Here's hoping the clinic calls soon and puts me out of my misery.
UPDATE (12 p.m.): Finally got ahold of the Fabulous Nurse, who shooed me in for another beta since it's still too early for an ultrasound. Blood taken by the Very Emotional Nurse, who hugged me before she would let me leave, but I could have kissed her, with feeling, when she called me back with the news: 737. That's more than triple since Thursday, even better than I was hoping. Suck it, Existential Angst!
And yet it's hard to describe exactly how much terror one feels after five years of assisted reproduction when the matter seems to finally be resolving. There's both a giddy sense that yes, this could be IT at last, followed immediately by a deep, deep despair that we've been here before and it still didn't do us any good. I am Afraid to Let Myself Be Happy, as B puts it. And yet, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
I won't truly feel we're out of the woods until after the second ultrasound, when we should be able to see (and more importantly, measure) the heartbeat. That's where we got blindsided five years ago, almost to the day, when the docs took us aside and said our first pregnancy would not continue. That was our first ART, also in the fall. This is the last. Nice sense of symmetry, isn't it?
In the meantime, thanks for all your good wishes. It's nice having friends in the computer.
Heya. Not that anything short of a u/s will make you feel better, but I had BRIGHT RED spotting with two out of three of my pregnancies from about the five-week mark off and on until about ten weeks, and they both hung in there, although *I* almost died when I saw the words "threatened abortion" on my chart. It's a wretched kind of worrying that you get to do until you're in my shoes and telling someone else how it turned out okay, though, and I'm sorry.
Posted by: Liza | September 25, 2006 at 12:05 PM
Hey, feel free to freak out! How many times in life does one truly have a righteous excuse to do so?
If now isn't the time, I surely don't know what is.
[[hugs]] and [hand-holding]
Not to mention wringing....!
Posted by: cheryll | September 25, 2006 at 12:07 PM
Ya know, the worrying never stops until they're married off and have their own kids! This is just the Universe's way of making sure you know that and to prepare you for a generous swath of worry.
Seriously though, your numbers look good. You just tell that little batch of sunshine to hang on!
Posted by: Margaret | September 25, 2006 at 01:42 PM
Woo-hoo! Go, numbers! That's very good news. I will be obsessively checking in here for more.
Posted by: Midwestern Deadbeat | September 26, 2006 at 08:01 AM
737, now that has a nice ring to it! Hang in there.
And Margaret: worrying does not stop when they get married and move out. My son (the youngest, in his mid 30s, married 11 years) called last week to let me know that his youngest (18 months) was in the hospital with a first ever asthma attack that didn't respond to treatment. (!!!)
They are 2000 miles away and you'd think I'd be over the whole MOM thing after all these years.
Nope. He felt much better after unloading on his mother, but my day was ruined. Baby is just fine, now, but his parents aged 10 years and I need meds to deal with the future I can see but they can't (mercifully).....
Welcome to parenthood, Sweetie! You'll love it, honest.
Posted by: cheryll | September 26, 2006 at 08:23 AM
Yea! for the number. And when I worked in the clinic, many women had the spotting and they were fine.
Everyone else is right. That worrying never ends.
is it Friday yet?
Posted by: Tara | September 26, 2006 at 09:46 AM
Glad the folks dropped in...and I understand all too well about the spotting. Your numbers look great and I hope this is it for you!
Posted by: Brenda | September 28, 2006 at 08:39 AM