Yesterday I ran across Bossy's post about celebrity baby names, wondering what JLo and Marc Anthony are going to name the impending. The ridiculous things celebrities name their kids always tickles me, because it's clear that celebrities hate their babies and want them to grow up miserable and alone. Because if the kids I went to school with could make fun of "Becky Johns," what chance does poor Moxie Crimefighter have?
But the post got me thinking: Brando and I need a really cool/really awful baby name for TBD when he/she/it arrives.
So I ask you, dear readers: Should it be Apple? Suri? Jet? Ireland?
The winning entry will garner our undying gratitude, and THIS:
* cat will choose the winning name by puking on entry. offer not valid outside the UP or in any of the counties within the UP. The proprietors of this blog reserve the right not to use any name deemed weird.
ok, my kids are named yawningly boring names and I like it that way. But i spent HOURS on this website laughing my ass off,and you might too:
http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
Posted by: babelbabe | January 16, 2008 at 09:09 AM
There was a kid named Resin at my daughters' school. Because you really want to name your kid after the worst part of the weed...
Posted by: churlita | January 16, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Maybe you should name the babe, Liberal Fascist.
Posted by: Jennifer | January 17, 2008 at 09:16 AM
Well, I know some family members who would consider that appropriate.
Maybe we'll name it Googlebomb!
Posted by: TLB | January 17, 2008 at 09:23 AM
Googlebomb is da bomb!
Posted by: Jennifer | January 17, 2008 at 10:24 AM
Seven.
I was amazed it never actually caught on as a result of Seinfeld.
Posted by: Jane | January 17, 2008 at 02:58 PM
My three children are named Hellspawn, Demonseed, and Trenchfoot. Feel free to steal any of them. The names or the kids.
Posted by: Snag | January 17, 2008 at 04:35 PM
Can we take Demonseed, Snag? The kid AND the name?
Those names say more about you than the kids.
Posted by: TLB | January 17, 2008 at 05:44 PM
Considering the recent musings on here, I think you should go with Brando. Well, that or Ziploc Taco. Also an excellent, character-giving name.
Posted by: Amie | January 17, 2008 at 06:54 PM
Ridley?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VvHKAwFTlQ&feature=related
I named my kids Shut Up
and
Get Me a Beer. I love it when they get together.
Posted by: fish | January 17, 2008 at 07:49 PM
Brian recommends "Dikfer" and "Abcde" (pronounced "AB-sid-a"). We just want your cat.
Posted by: Kelly | January 17, 2008 at 07:56 PM
Don't forget, I followed the American Indian tradition of not naming them until their personalities were established.
Posted by: Snag | January 17, 2008 at 10:17 PM
Perhaps you should make the child go through a series of trials to earn his or her name.
Barring that, just chose something that's easy to spell. Jill is good that way. Hard to mess up that one!
Posted by: Noelle | January 18, 2008 at 06:19 AM
I agree with Jane: I always liked Seven and Soda from that Seinfeld episode.
B. and I always wondered whether there were certain names you would not be allowed to name your child - e.g., Unwanted, Mistake, Bastard, Motherfucker, etc.
Posted by: Motel Manager | January 18, 2008 at 10:30 AM
I like Bastard Motherfucker.
I would also love to name the child Dr. Pepper and then encourage s/he to become an actual doctor: "Dr. Dr. Pepper I presume?"
Posted by: Brando | January 18, 2008 at 04:15 PM
Bedazzler, Wearer of Chunderoos
Posted by: Pinko Punko | January 20, 2008 at 08:20 PM
Awesome suggestions, everyone. Now I have things that will potentially turn my mother-in-law's hair white!
Posted by: TLB | January 21, 2008 at 06:27 PM
My dad named my sister and I with "S" names to honor my mother whose name is Sun. He also gave us the same initials SRP and the same amount of syllables which was (apparently) a coincidence. I think he thought about it overmuch.
Posted by: Susan | January 21, 2008 at 07:18 PM
Snag or Billy Pilgrim.
Let me think about this:
The Pocket Rocket
or
The Hulk (if it's a boy)
Seriously:
Avery for a girl
Joshua for a boy
Posted by: Adorable Girlfriend | January 21, 2008 at 10:12 PM
AG's serious suggestions are terrible. Every other effing kid out there is named Joshua and Avery is a dude's name.
Chundermuffin has a classic ring to it.
Loafnozzle works.
Branmuffin has a paternal edge.
Glennbecky is a bit more maternally inclined.
Posted by: Chuckles | January 22, 2008 at 01:52 PM
A vote for Glennbecky, and that AG's suggestions are terrible.
Posted by: Pinko Punko | January 22, 2008 at 05:00 PM
Go with the famous photographer theme:
Dorothea for a girl
Ansel for a boy
Though I do kinda like Demonseed, and Glennbecky is awful catchy.
Posted by: Shannon | January 23, 2008 at 03:37 PM
Tickles
The Black Pope
Munch
Ratface
Burrito
Waldorf von Himmel
Knobby
I always liked Bill Cosby's choices: Jesus Christ and Dammit
Posted by: Grendel | January 24, 2008 at 06:43 AM